Even the most expert teacher has difficult moments trying to communicate effectively with students.
We long for peaceful moments during our day an in our class, but sometimes it feels so impossible and far away.
They totally shine a light on some simple but powerful tools. When we use “always” or “never,” we unintentionally sabotage our message by distracting them from the real issue.
This may seem like a stupid game of wordplay, but it’s not.
Adding a simple phrase like “I think,” “I feel,” or “I believe” to the beginning of your statement cuts the edge off your words and is less likely to spark defensiveness in your student. Many of us even had teachers or parents who called us names or made us feel small.
Your words go from sounding like fact to sounding like your emotions and opinion. And if that adult repeated that name enough or said it at just the right vulnerable moment, chances are pretty good we remember the very instant the words were said to us.
We’re not trying to take power out of your hands, but rather to put the right kind of power into your hands. As unthinkable as a root canal without anesthesia sounds, our natural tendency is to do the unthinkable with our words. Any of the emotions their actions frequently stir up in you. (And we can all imagine what resentful students are capable of.)This one is super tempting. I can’t think of a single instance when it’s better to feed them small lies because it’s easier for us.
We see something we want fixed in our students, and we jump straight in with the drill. What would our interactions with our students look like if — instead of diving right to our criticisms, frustrations, and irritations — we affirmed them first? We’re supposed to be the mature ones in the relationship. Once we’ve frontloaded things by teaching these words, then when we’re in the moment, we have a common language. How much better to talk about these things when they’re younger.
If we expect our students to have obedient hearts and actions and keep their patient composure, then we’d better set the example. Withdrawing or isolating from your students can be as harmful as outbursts of anger. None of this, “I’ll respect them when they respect me” stuff.
Call a girl “shy” enough, and she just might become it. The problem is that these generalizations don’t deal with the specific situation at hand, and that should be our goal. Because that is likely when they need us to talk things out the most.
Command a boy to “stop being such a baby,” and he might stuff his emotions deep inside. to stop throwing like a girl, and we’ve disrespected both the boy and ALL the girls. Deal with the Right Here and Now, and try to tap into their hearts and minds. Conversation of the Day: Which one of the thirteen challenges you most?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating